


Not Even Death

by Rainbowraptor



Series: ZaDr Phase 3 [5]
Category: Invader Zim
Genre: Afterlife, Blood and Gore, Gen, Heaven, Hell, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Implied/Referenced Torture, Inaccurate Catholicism, Inaccurate Christianity, M/M, Shout-outs, blasphemy basically
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-01
Updated: 2020-08-01
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:47:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25640836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rainbowraptor/pseuds/Rainbowraptor
Summary: Dib dies, as he usually does, and Zim goes to Hell to get him back, like always, except, this time, Mr. Satan informs Zim that, "Sorry, but your princess is in another castle."
Relationships: Dib/Zim (Invader Zim)
Series: ZaDr Phase 3 [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1838896
Comments: 8
Kudos: 52





	Not Even Death

**Author's Note:**

> Yay! I did it! I finished ZaDr Week 3! This final tale is for the Possessive/Protect prompt. Mind the tags and thank you for reading!!!! Shout out to Dramance who helped me with critiquing!!! You're amazing! Fun game, try to find all the references and shout outs to other works (Rick and Morty, Hazbin Hotel, JtHm) I actually don't know how many I put in there actually soooo, oops.

Zim stomps through the brimstone, the stinky phosphorus, scents of garlic and cinnamon cloves, the stench of burning hair and flesh, and so much else, all the while adding another curse against his mate's name.

Zim checks all levels. Dib isn't being skinned alive, he isn't getting his intestines pulled out with barbed wire, and Dib isn't being beheaded and having that freshly severed planet sized appendage sunk to the bottom of a vast depth of ocean to be picked clean by six different water demons. Dib can't be found within the mass of Sin City where the denizens of Hell spent their off hours getting high, drunk, having loads of disgusting sex. The human isn't caught up in the frenzy of rebuilding and moving on done by many sections of Hell. Dib isn't even among the endless other lost souls in what is known as "Limbo". 

So, Zim is forced to seek out HIM.

_ The nerve of it all.  _

"Curse that mangy cur of a lowly dirt ape, Zim should just leave my Dib here!" 

But even as Zim screams, he still presses on, making his way to Sir Diablo's office. Dib is  _ his _ , not some devil's. He cuts through lines, snakes over patrol demons, and even makes quick work of the newest security measures (a spooky looking moose) and finds himself at the door of Satan.

Zim doesn't usually knock but he knows that there's no way to force entry, even for an Invader. He tried the first time he'd been here and has no desire to be set on fire. Again. Instead, Zim screams. "Spicy ram meat, open up, where is my Dib?! Where have you hidden him?! You have one chance to give Zim's mate back or suffer the wrath of the universe's most terrible-"

The great massive black and red door opens inward.

"Wise choice." Zim says and enters. 

Within, the King of Hell's office is more or less the same as it has been. A large room with the darkest possible wooden floors decorated with a large red rug, a cherry wood desk, and several tall black bookcases. The books in the cases were varied, ranging from a series of novels written by a particular British children's author all the way down to a copy of  _ Zoology for Dummies.  _ There are no paintings on the wall like last time, no ornamentation at all except for a single glass bird wearing a black top hat and a thing of water set on the desk. Every second, the bird dips it's beak into the water, then pulls up, only to repeat the move. No water leaves the glass. The bird will never drink all the water, the bird will never stop. 

Zim rips his eyes away from the disturbing toy and glares at the impossibly tall figure standing in front of the desk. 

"Ah, Zim...so good of you to visit. I was expecting you a bit sooner." Senor Diablo says, voice as smooth and as sinister as ever.

Senor Diablo, aka Mr. Satan, aka Lucifer, aka The Devil, aka Lord of Demons and Suffering, and so on, is the tallest sentient creature Zim has ever encountered. The Beast, for that reason and that reason only, sends Zim into feelings of terrible panic and horror. Diablo's eyes are two burning stars, his horns made from the most ancient of bone, and the monster's smile is something  _ wrong _ like face at the end of a long dark hallway.

"Where is he?!" Zim hisses despite beginning to sweat. 

"Not here." Mr. Satan says with a sigh. "You saw that yourself, why waste both our times? I have a meeting with President-"

Zim snarls. "No, no! He's here, Zim knows he is, what sort of foul new Hell have you built for him now? Huh? Give up, I will find him like I always do so you might as well-"

Flames, black, white, and another color not ever seen before this moment, bursts in a foul circle about the Prince of Hell. His pale face twists into a scowl of jagged, splinters of teeth, he grows too many eyes, those Curled horns uncoil and spread as wide as the room, sharp and terrible. Diablo opens his arms and Zim is sure he's about to be devoured. "HE'S NOT HERE ZIM!!!" Satan roars. 

Zim swallows, fear clenching his spooch tight, robbing him of oxygen, or maybe it has been all burned away in Satan's flames. His throat is raw and he has to wait until the fallen angel calms again before he can speak. "Then...where...where is he?" Zim asks, giving this tall King the respect he deserves.

Senor Diablo sits on the edge of his desk and raises one single skeletal finger toward the ceiling. "Up."

Zim huffs, claws tightens into fists by his sides, forgetting himself in his agitation, "Impossible, Zim just came from there, I watched him die myself, he-'

"Yes, yes, I know, death by Mothman dust, not a great way to go, Dib really should've become a proper scientist. Little chance of having your organs liquidfy via rouge cryptid." He raises one perfect eyebrow, "Or, at least, chosen another partner in life." 

"Lies!!!" Zim shouts.

A single strange flicker of flame from Diablo's nostrils silences Zim like nothing else can. Diablo stares at Zim with those hooded eyes. His finger, still pointed up, suddenly begins to extend. The digit lengths, and grows longer until it pierces the ceiling. It doesn't stop, the finger continues on, Zim can swear he hears a demon scream in pain. Finally, after many minutes, Diablo's finger returns to its usual size and uses it to gesture for Zim to approach.

"Look." Lucifer orders and Zim complies.

Zim uses his PAK legs to reach the small hole in the ceiling and presses his face against it, using his right eye to look and sees---

Blinding terrible, glorious, immortal, bright like the power of a thousand burning suns and Zim is screaming in agony. He's been tossed into a star before, been drenched in the acid liquid of Urth's water, suffered many, many tortures but the sight up, up into wherever his Dib now spends his afterlife, is the worst yet. 

Zim's PAK legs fail him, they don't even withdraw, they simply loose power and Zim crashes to the hardwood floor of Satan's office, crying, seething, back aching as he lay, legs and arms, both metal and meat, curling up against himself as if he were nothing but a dead spider. His right eye's oozing, crusting, flayed and skinned and oh, would it ever grow back?!?

Diablo waits until Zim stops flailing about and sits up, letting out ragging breaths, before he speaks. When Zim turns his good eye to look at Satan, the monster is reclining in his chair, fingers steepled like any good super villain. 

Zim finds it cliche but he doesn't risk saying so.

"We boosted Dib." Diablo explains.

“Boosted? Like a signal?” Zim asks but the Lord of Hell laughs.

The laugh is unnervingly pleasant. 

"How many times have you stormed down here to pull Dib from his rightful place? Hm?" The devil to end all devils questions.

Zim blinks. He's counting. It had to be at least seven, right? There is the first time Dib tried suicide, then the second sorta suicide (Dib had thrown himself in front of a speeding bus to save Zim...for SOME reason), then when Dib fell into a one of Zim's Doom machines (not Zim's fault), Dib being digested by a Loch Ness monster (maybe Dib hadn't died that time, Zim couldn't recall)…

"Five times." Diablo answers. "Five times before this and, well, it's getting rather old. I've enjoyed watching you two fighting, fucking, and doing all you can to cause chaos in the mortal realm this past century but enough is enough." Diablo lets out a whiff of smoke, it wafts around and around, whipping about Zim's throat as it goes before vanishing with the smell of fallen leaves. "My Lords of Hell and I grow bored with this game. It's time to end things, so, well, I put Dib up there." He points up again and Zim winces, wound still fresh. "Where you can't reach." Diablo ends.

Zim takes a deep breath and stands. His mind is reeling, understanding. Dib had died, no biggie, it'd happened before, no way it had only been five times before this, the sixth but still, whatever, Zim had always been able to descend into Hell and pull his lover back. Always. 

But now…

Zim looks up to the ceiling, the hole is gone but his right eye, now just a socket l, is still stinging, bee venom angry. Heaven? Is that the name for that thing? Heaven's light had marred Zim, probably permanently, even from the pits of Hell. How is Zim supposed to survive long enough exposed to such a plane to rescue his idiot human? 

"Maybe it's time to let go." Diablo says. "I wouldn't blame you." 

"Hahahahhahahaaahaha!" Zim bursts into laughing, loud and chaotic, a laugh that put all the demons of hell to shame. "Zim thanks you, I shall leave you woundless for your information Senor Diablo." Zim tells Satan, Lord of Hell, King of the Damned as he leaves the office. There is no time to spare, after all, he has a suit to build and a Dib to retrieve.

\---

After Zim returns to the surface and enters their shared lair (a two story otherwise mundane looking home with a specially fenced in backyard) Zim is rushed by their little robotic SIR unit, Gir. "Yay! Mary! I made blueberry waffles, your favorite!" He shouts. His blue eyes fall and his mouth grows small in confusion. "You hiding Dib outside? Is this a surprise party? I love surprises like bacon and pizza and a puppy-"

"No Gir," Zim says, perhaps a little too harshly, and make his way to the false bookcase, pushes in the correct book (The Art of MIB) and reveals the hidden staircase. Gir shuffles after him, all the while asking about Dib, then about Zim's missing eye, then about Dib again. 

Zim wants to strangle the robot, throw him out an air lock, or even toss him into a trash compactor. But not really. Those are the fantasies from a Zim in pain. Desires of a younger, less mature Zim. He’d never do it back then, maybe unleash a swarm of radioactive ants onto Urth, but no, he is past such things. 

Instead, as Zim enters Dib's paranormal office, such a contrast to the vile Diablo's, all blue walls, various 'otaku' posters, diagrams of many cryptids, trash bins full of junk food wrappers, and extensive monitors, database servers, and swivel chairs, Zim calmly listens to Gir. 

"Yes, ah, nice, Dib loves peanuts. He'll like that Gir."  _ Isn't Dib allergic to nuts? _ Zim wonders while sitting on the floor, stroking Gir's fake furred back with one claw, fixing an eye patch on his face with the other. He plugs a PAK cable into Dib's network system.  _ Pretty sure he died once from eating banana nut muffins _ . It doesn't matter, not if Zim can't find a way to break into heaven.

It turns out that there isn't much information about Heaven, at least, compared to details about Hell. Zim isn't exactly sure why this is but the only thing he's able to put together is a design for a suit made of silver, lined with white bull hair, and blessed by a holy person. Any sort of holy person, the recipe isn't picky in the least about which religion the holy human comes from, which serves Zim fine. 

"Gir, go fetch me one of the cows from the pen, all the silver from the house, and meet me in my labs in an hour." Zim orders. "I have a plan for getting our Dib back."

Gir lets out a high pitched laugh of joy and flees from the room, running up the stairs. Zim imagines, Gir tearing apart the kitchen for all the silverware and then, when that is done, moving on to Dib's vampire hunting collection. There's enough silver to slay an army of monsters, or, at least, make one set of protective armor.

Dib will be upset. But really, just another problem for  _ after _ they get Dib back.

Zim leaves the office, locking it behind him. 

Now for the holy guy. 

There's a huge list of all manner of priests, monks, rabbi, mullah, etcetera, etcetera, Dib had formed for he and Zim’s battles against the more evil parts of the paranormal so really, it is only a matter of picking the right one for the job. Zim supposes that anyone would do but then again, he's an alien and matters of the religious plane are kinda out of his specialty.

So he closes his eye and picks one at random. 

Holy man picked (Padre Rick, not ideal but no time for another), silver gathered, and bull skinned (the pelt would grow back after a few days in the healing chamber, Zim isn't a complete monster, also, it was the only white bull for miles) Zim crafts the armor. The result is similar to his special Irken space suit, helmet and all but flashy silver and lined with a silky smooth fur. The head ware couldn't simply go translucent at will but Zim built a, he thought, nice visor for the set. It wouldn't be space worthy but perhaps it would prevent whatever existed in this  _ Heaven's _ atmosphere from turning his spooch into cooked slime.

"Ahh, Padre Rick." Zim greets the priest at the door in his full suit and tries to offer some nice words, why not, maybe it would increase the power of the blessing or...something. "Looking less bald...than usual." Zim says.

Padre Rick hiccups. "You...cosplay? No judgement ya know but didn’t take you for the type. That seems more Keanu’s kink."

_ Definitely hits the sauce _ . Zim recalls Dib joking once.

Zim chuckles at the memory. "Nah...just, well, Dib is-"

"You guys in trouble again?" The man asks, one bushy blue eyebrow cocked. He crosses his arms and stares at Zim for a beat. "Let me guess, you need me to exorcise a kid or maybe you'd like to have back up when you summon a demon for whatever shit plan you two got or maybe Dib's been bitten by a werewolf and you need my spit to cure him?"

Zim blinks, raising the visor on the armor, one lensed eye on the Padre, "You can cure lycanthropy with priest spit?" Dib had never taught him that.

Padre Rick stares. “Got sent to the bad place again didn’t he?”

"No, no, I just need you to bless all this, " Zim said, gesturing to his amazing body, "So I can, eh...eh...fight a zombie vampire."

Padre Rick shrugs. It isn't the craziest thing Dib or Zim had asked of him. He does the thing (a weird assortment of gestures and slurred words that, honestly, Zim could've done himself) and then grins at Zim. "Hey, look, I” Padre Rick burped, then continued, “know you two failures aren’t the most intelligent beings in existence but a little advice from someone who's escaped some pretty bad situations, remember there’s more to-"

"OK, awesome, thank you holy man." Zim tells the priest, right before he slams the door in the man of God's face.

He paces around the house, plotting, drawing up data from both Dib's and his own networks. Minimoose floats around, cheering him on, trying to serve him raspberry slushies and both Irken and human fundip. 

Zim doesn't bother to stop. Gir inhales the offerings for him.

For the final piece of the plan, Zim has to teleport himself to the plane of Heaven and it's the hardest task Zim has ever had. Hell is easy to get too, again, there's so many books on how to reach the Pit but Heaven? Nada. The stuff borrowed from Dib's Uncle Johnny isn't much use this time. Zim isn't about to commit suicide, he’s sure he'd just go straight to Hell and the time to out do his sinful past to get to the pearly gates would probably take too long. Plus, he's already built the suit.

Zim ponders reaching out to old Professor Membrane but, really, Heaven isn't very scientific so he's out. 

Zim snarls and throws a fit. He smashes the kitchen he and Dib have shared for decades. There's the brand new waffle contraption Dib had made days before the worst had happened. Zim doesn't touch that but only because it's Gir's and Zim doesn't want to make the SIR unit scream for hours on top of everything else. But Zim does shred the rest. In his anguish, he dismantles the cabinets, melts away the pretty space sky like counter tops, their shiny insides winking at Zim in the remaining lights. It's no big deal. Gir has already destroyed most of the place looking for the materials for the now useless suit. 

Zim leaves the suit on the shattered kitchen table, and crawls into their bed room. He checks every nook and cranny for clues but finds nothing. He hisses, checks Dib's office again, maybe he missed something but, again, finds nothing. He searches the entire base. Nothing. He rips down the walls, hunting, fires lasers into the ceiling. The computer pleads for him to stop but Zim doesn't. He goes through and through and through the house, every inch, every section, so many times, over and over again.

_ Nothing _ .

Zim finally ceases his obsessive search and lays on the torn living room carpet, cursing Dib's name again into a couch cushion that smells a ton like Dib's favorite flavor of energy drink. He glares up at the starry sky through the broken moonroof and snarls. "I've searched this entire junky fortress." Zim roars, voice high pitched and strained from the two months of no recharging, no eating, no Dib. The silver moon glows dumbly down at him.

"Nothing! Nothing!"

"Nyh!" Says a voice.

"No Minimoose, why'd I need a suitcase for?" Zim says.

"Nyah!!" Minimoose insists.

Zim sits up. "OF COURSE!" He shouts and makes a bee line for his lab. Zim forgot, how could he forget? He hadn’t even thought of...there. Why did he avoid it? Why was there a sick, dark, heavy rock in his gut every time he even considers it? He's not sure. Even now, as Zim descends down into the bowels of the base, Zim's mind is thinking of reasons  _ not _ to continue forward. But Zim grips his fists so tight, his claws pricks his palms, bringing him up and over the fear. The dread is there but behind him.

Zim enters the med bay. It's eerily bright after the darkness from above so Zim sees the exam table plainly and clearly where, only months ago...Dib's body had...dissolved.

Zim stands, paralyzed, staring. 

Everything is still there. The blood stained glasses and the heap of torn clothing once worn by his Dib.

_ No. No. Don't look. Don't look. _

Zim directs his ruby red eyes away from the tray of bloody, fouled equipment beside the table, doesn't question why some of the tools seem...degraded, and focuses on the floor, where a suitcase sits, in all its black, blue eyeball emblazoned glory.

Zim doesn't look at the empty black jacket nor the red converse sneakers, he simply grabs the suitcase and flees the lab, all the way back up to their bedroom, refusing to slow.

Zim sits on the bed and calls Gir to come rest beside him, not because he may need comfort if the suitcase  _ doesn't  _ hold the key to Dib's return, but because Zim doesn't want Gir to disrupt the Computer as it worked to clean Zim's mess. The Computer didn't need to be distracted or slowed, the holes Zim had made in the ceiling needed to be repaired quickly. 

A roll of thunder threatens in reply to this thought and Zim shudders. He and Gir curl up under the covers and look at the container on Zim's lap.

Zim breaks into the suitcase, easily (the password is still ZimSucksGood69lolz from when Dib was a teen, so stupid). He holds his breath as he opens it. 

"Oooooooh, PRETTTYYTYY!" Gir squeals at the gold tome within.

Zim let's out a cackle and punches the air.  _ Sooooooooon. _

It takes exactly two minutes to read the entire thing and another two to collect the things needed for crafting a portal to Heaven (well, the Heaven connected to Senor Diablo's Hell, turns out there's a TON of afterlives in existence) Zim is so happy he isn't even upset at the fact it's so quick after so much shit. Fun fact, a portal to Heaven needs only three things, a ton of sand, a stick to draw a symbol in said sand, and a being like Minimoose to charge the thing.

"To the backyard!!!" Zim shouts and begins the construction. The actual creation of the portal takes a little longer than ten minutes, Gir enjoys the new "sandbox" too much and Zim and Minimoose have to redraw the symbol twice. Finally, with Gir chained momentarily to a tree, the symbol is charged, Zim is clad in the holy armor, and he's ready to face God. Whatever that was.

"Be back soon Gir!" He shouts and leaps into the silvery and gold blaze of the portal. 

There is no pain as Zim floats, up, up in a weird, shimmering cylinder of mist and light. It's like a tractor beam yet, it feels...cool, nice, as if he was flying.

All at once, the little trip ends and Zim finds himself standing in front of a strange man behind a desk. Zim looks around. Unlike Hell, this place wasn't packed with filthy humans and demons. There's no one else in the void. Only the manlike thing, the desk, and an opalescent gate into which Zim can't see. It’s...actually kinda boring, just a sort of fluffy haze around, the ground is solid but looks more like someone’s front lawn. Zim is sure he sees an empty poop can a few feet away. 

The armor seems to be doing it’s work which is a good thing. He isn’t melting. So, Zim straightens his back and marches right up. "Hello, I'm here to retrieve my Dib!"

The man, slowly, oh so slowly, looks up from the book before him. Zim can't understand anything from the pages, his PAK doesn't seem to be able to translate whatever it says. "Ahhhh, name?"

Zim scowls. "Dib!"

"No, your name. What's your name? It's how we work around here." The guy explains.

Zim blinks. "Zim, I am Zim." He says.

The man nods, turns a few pages, drags a long finger down the words, taps a picture of what is clearly Zim.

Oh, so this is the part of Heaven that the book talked about, where they weigh your bad deeds against your good deeds.

"Can you like...hurry it up. I have stuff to do, places to be, experiments to...I mean, monsters to kill." Zim urges. 

Suddenly, the man lets out a little cry. "Oh, oh wow, such horrible things." He says. "I thought that weird goth guy was bad but you, you…" He stares at Zim with fear. "Oh no!" 

"Thank you." Zim says. He's not sure what the guy is saying but he feels a bit of pride for some reason. "But that is my early stuff, Zim has turned a new corner."

"A new leaf." Says the man.

"Right. That. Whatever." Zim stomps a foot.

But the man is looking back down at his book. "Ahhh, why did you do that? And ugh, that?!?"

Zim rolls his good eye and stalks over to the gates. He slips inside the foggy, glittery mess of clouds easily. After a while, the odd fog ends and Zim finds himself strolling through a huge, vast open green plain. Actually, no, that's not what this is at all. It's obviously a clean, futuristic city with towers that reach high into a galaxy rich night sky. No, it's an underwater world, teaming with so many lifeforms, it stuns Zim so much, he forgets to question why he isn't burning alive in the water. Nope, wrong again, Heaven is an endless forest of mushrooms and no, it's a pink fluffy wonderland of-there are huge robots, flying in the air, piloted by little boys and girls and oops, no, it's a single bird feeder where a single squirrel stuffs it's face with seeds and nuts.

Heaven is all these and none of these.

Zim searches the confusing world,  _ worlds _ ? Feeling his legs growing weak. He's shaking.  _ Where is Dib? _ He thinks, hard. He just wants Dib, Dib. Where is-

_ There!!! _

It's as if the thoughts brings his mate to manifest. Zim is suddenly at the back of a large room, in front, he sees Dib. Dib’s surrounded by a large crowd of people, many are familiar, Zita, Keefe, Professor Membrane, Gaz, but this is impossible, Dib is dead and the others are alive, well, they were the last time Zim recalled. Zim shoots forward. “Dib!” He says, throwing caution away. As he runs towards Dib, he can hear Dib talking.

"Yes and the Bigfoot likes eating beef jerky. Yeah, I was surprised too." Dib laughs. 

Dib appears slightly younger here, like he did back in the early days of college. His chin is hairless, hair less kept, but it's still Dib. Still Zim's tall, stupid, death prone Dib. “Tell us about the pack of Utharaptors you found behind the Crazy Taco!” Says Torque, face filled with adoration. “I love that story!”

"Stink-Beast!" Zim shouts, a little angry Dib is still ignoring him, especially after how hard Zim has tried to get to him. 

Dib freezes, then turns to look at Zim. 

Zim comes to a halt, staring into those amber eyes, behind those glasses...Zim sees something is  _ wrong _ .

"Oh, look everyone, it's Zim." Dib says. "The alien." He smiles, glasses flashing. Those teeth look a little too white and large to belong to Zim's Dib and the way Dib is reaching out to Zim, arm out, palm up, fingers way too long and a bit too eager, head cocked slightly to the side…

The people around Dib, it's a big audience, all turn and look at Zim. "Look, look. Dib is right! It's the Irken!" Says one. "Wow! Amazing! Dib, you found an alien! So cool!" Says another.

This was Dib's ideal Heaven then, that's how this had to work right? 

"Hey Zim, come 'ere." Dib says, taking a step forward. "Let me show them. Aren't you tired of hiding?"

"Dib….Dib!" Zim shouts, trying to ignore the fear gripping him, trying to burn it away with anger, with yelling. “I don’t want to show them anything!” But here, among the growing mist, staring down what was clearly becoming a mob led by none other than his Dib,  _ his love _ , the only love he'd ever known, it's not working, not even a little bit.

Zim tightens his fists, ignoring the ache. He won't back down, not now. "Dib, stop this, you have to come with Zim, back to life,  _ our _ life!" 

Dib let's out a laugh, an expression on his face is one of confused amusement. "Why would I? They need me. They listen to me. If I left, who would teach them?" 

The mists around Zim are building, they sting like the mists on Urth, acid and biting. His armor, Zim notes, is melting.  _ How?!  _ Zim thinks and quivers, he can't see anything in the sea of white, fluffy, glittery clouds except for the approaching notDib and his notfriends and notfamily. 

Zim can't move. The armor's liquefied boots have him fixed to the spot. Oh, the pain, the agony.  _ No, no. _ Zim thinks. He's on fire. Burning. He's melting and it's-

Dib grabs Zim's throat, puts his nose only inches away from Zim's face, his grin a mad, twisted slash. He’s sliding something cold and sharp against Zim’s cheek. Dib’s holding a scalpel."Who would be here to show them what you are  _ inside _ ?" Dib asks and then brings the flash of silver down.

-

"ZIM!!!!!" A voice rips through agony, a rough, older voice. Something, someone picks him up from a burning flat surface, cradles him tightly, whispering words close to his antennae. He knows that scent, through the smell of brimstone, burning flesh, and so many other foul things. "I got you, oh, fuck Zim, I got you, I got those bastards. I got you Space Boy, I'm getting you outta here, hold on, hold on." 

Zim opens his eyes. Well, one eye, his right is currently missing. He sees Dib,  _ his _ Dib, scruffy faced and wiry but solid, carrying him. By the foul stench, Zim doesn't have to look around to guess where they are. But he does, a little. They are leaving behind a morbid exam room, it's red walls flecked with pink blood, his blood. Zim could see a group of demons laying around the table, smashed to pieces, cut up and definitely, gloriously dead. Zim wants to kiss Dib but finds he can’t manage it. The last sight he sees before Dib takes him away is the strange contraption that had been mentally and bodily torturing him for who knew how long, an alarming array of cables and sharp bone protrusions. Zim shudders, it would take a year’s worth of cleansing gel to clean his PAK.

"Was it the Mothman dust?" Zim wheezes.

"Yeah, fucker just straight up coughed on you and then…" Dib trails off, dodging an attacking moose, firing a plasma shot right in the damn thing's head. It fell down, stinking of cooked steak. "I'm so sorry, Bug. I should of known it wasn’t vampire zombies, I freaking shoulda-"

Zim's spooch twisted in nausea at the smell. "No, no, don't you dare. Besides, Zim could’ve easily avoided the foul powder but I really wanted you to return the favor for once is all." 

Dib scoffed. "Yeah well, no. Let's make a pact never to die again, how bout that?” He stopped talking for a second, leaping over a long, long line of people entering Hell. A few guard demons tried to stop them, but Dib...well, Dib turned them into mushed, meaty giblets. 

Zim could help, using his PAK lasers and more but, watching Dib work is better.

“Yeah, never dying again, adding that to our vows, cuz this fucking blows." Dib skids to a stop, sending dust and rocks flying with his sneakers. 

A huge magic circle shone underneath them, ready to take them home.

"Sounds delightful." Zim says and clings closer to the chest of his Dib. He pushes his face into Dib's shirt, tangles a claw into Dib's jacket, and closes his eyes as the portal activates and carries them back to life. 


End file.
